Words and illustration by Lynn Chia.

Depression rears an ugly face when it’s revealed.

Maybe that is why I often try to suit up with a bubbly smile,

not knowing that what I am wearing is wearing me out.

I try to appear “normal”.

A way to overcompensate for the brokenness I feel inside.

Only to realise that it makes me feel more disconnected from those around me.

That it leaves me feeling empty and misunderstood.

How can we be understood if I do not try to communicate my authenticity?

It is scary to be vulnerable and real;

Sometimes it feels like leaping off a cliff

without a harness,

with mixed feelings of fear

and hope towards the uncertainty before me.

Conversations,

when shared with our loved ones or

those whom we respect or expect to understand us –

while they absolutely have the risk of hurting us –

are an important way for us to be understood, known and loved for who we are.

Not who we pretend to be.

I stopped pretending to be strong, and decided to be myself instead.

Authenticity and vulnerability is the new antidote mix to the invisible bars

of doubt and anxiety and trust issues in which I feel imprisoned by.

It is a terrifying leap of faith,

but at least I can always try to be honest and true to who I really am.

Lynn is a part-time athlete, film-enthusiast and a hardcore black coffee lover. When she isn't painting, writing, humming sad love songs or dancing, she can be found running away from her problems (literally and figuratively). If you would like to experience her world of self-deprecating humour and adventures, check out her Instagram here.

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